01.12.03
A mysterious lantern in your living room will emit light-pictures quickly in succession creating the illusion of movement known as "Clone High USA."  Adjust your lamp-oil setting to "MTV" at half past the ten o'clock hour on Monday the twentieth of January, then take a comfortable seat as the light-box astounds with its seductive magic.  DO NOT BE AFRAID.  The images you will see, while lifelike, are not real. The tragedies that befall them are imagined.  The pain that they feel is simulated.  Conversely, the sympathies engendered in you, dear viewer, are real.  Prepare to be delighted by the uncommon quipping of these miniature picture people.  Terrified at the peril such which befrightens them.  And comforted by the hope that the dangers that besiege them shall be contained behind the lamp-glass.  Upon conclusion of the picture-play, no doubt you will yearn for more.  A yearning that you shall no-doubt discuss with neighbors and co-workers around the work-place aqua-tower.