AIRLINE ETIQUETTE
by Abe Lincoln, Tatler Air Safety Expert

Perhaps we’re all guilty of romanticizing climactic airport scenes. A desperate lover sprinting through the terminal, hurdling baggage, side-stepping handicapped people-movers, avoiding the temptation of a ten dollar cookie, and all to prevent that special someone from getting on that plane, sitting in their assigned seat for at least an hour, then taking-off... forever. (more)

STUDENT PROFILE: ASHLEY ANGEL FROM O-TOWN! OKAY, HE’S NOT A STUDENT, BUT OMG, HE’S SO DREAMY!!!
By Cleopatra, Campus Life Editor

This week, we’ll be chatting with a super sexy, super hunky, superstar æ Ashley Parker Angel from O-Town! That’s right! The guy from that hit TV show where they pluck singers from obscurity and make them stars based on your votes!!! No, not “American Idol,” silly! It was called “Making The Band.” The first season. (more)

WHAT I’M DOING ABOUT THE SKUNK INFESTATION
by Principal Cinnamon J. Scudworth, Special to The Tatler

Dearest students. Recently, you may have noticed the pizzicato sounds of a pesky skunk echoing through the hallways, or the unmistakable bouquet of skunk spray wafting through the ventilation system. Perhaps you thought to yourself, “why, I wish someone would do something about this skunk infestation.” Well, worry no more, young charges, for someone is doing something. (more)

WHY I CONTINUE TO SABOTAGE MY CHANCES WITH THE MAN I LOVE BY HELPING HIM GET TOGETHER WITH CLEO EVERY FREAKING WEEK
by Anonymous

A lot of you guys have been asking me, why do I continue to sabotage my chances with the man I love by helping him get together with the woman he loves every freaking week? For example, when C. called the Teen Crisis Hotline, I told her to choose A. over JF. Also, just recently, I road-tripped hundreds of miles with the man I love to help him to reunite with C. Why do I do this? (more)

HOROSCOPES
By Nostradamus