NUMBER TWO PENCILS AND YOU: CERTAINLY NOT THINLY VEILED PROPAGANDA
By Cinnamon J. Scudworth, your trustworthy principal

When I was a wee child, if we wanted to write something down, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to the local mine shaft where we would then have to mine for coal. Once we’d acquired said coal, it was another ten miles to the forest where we would chop down a tree and whittle the trunk down to a stick with a hole in the center. We’d then carefully insert the coal (which we acquired from the mine shafts) into the hole in the wooden stick. We called this device a “Coal Doodle.” (more)

CLEO’S BEAUTY TIPS AND NUTRITION CORNER
By Cleopatra, Tatler Beauty and Nutrition Expert

Hey, ladies!!! It’s important to feel good about yourself. But it’s even more important that others feel good about you... and everyone knows, the only way to get them to is to look pretty and not be fat. That’s why I’m here to give you the lowdown on what’s hot this fall! Check it!!! (more)

POETRY CORNER: “BALLAD OF THE GHOST TRUCKER”
By Gandhi

LETTER TO THE EDITOR: I BEG OF YOU, GET 7.5 TO 8.5 HOURS OF SLEEP PER NIGHT OR PAY THE IRREVERSIBLE CONSEQUENCES
by Joan of Arc